Joie de Vivre

I’ve been thinking about my last post.

The connection I’m seeing now is so simple, foundational even, yet I have gone this long really missing it.

I think the key to finding the joie de vivre isn’t found in what I do, my surroundings, or anything outside of my control: i.e., “I don’t have this or I can’t do that.”

The joie de vivre is found in my own thought patterns. Or rather, formed in them. It comes from the life in my mind first. When I dwell on “if only…” and things that aren’t going my way, then I can never, ever, experience the joy of life.

But when I intentionally and purposefully focus my attention on personal growth and development, or on blessings that I have been gifted, this is the same as choosing to be grateful. Gratitude has a way of bringing joy.

This seems so easy when things are going well. But what about when life is dark, difficult, or demanding? How do I focus my thinking on something other than that? Does it mean I have to ignore the truth? Because I’m not really good at ignoring truth.

The answer to these questions marks the difference between happiness and joy. Which then leads to why I’m after joy, not necessarily happiness. And that will be another post, I think.

When my kids were young, I used to remind them of a cartoon I showed them about perspective.

Both people are headed in the same direction, experiencing the same commute, but have different perspectives of the ride. Obviously, it doesn’t mean every person experiences the same things; this is metaphorically the same person with two options. Which side of the bus are you sitting on? On what have you placed your focus in this situation?

Even when things are dark and spinning out of control, I can still choose to look for a different perspective in it besides the one on which I’m prone to focus. But if I am not purposed, it will never happen that way. It takes some emotional maturity and intentionality, or I’ll never find the joie de vivre.

I think the idea of joy in life is multi-faceted, has many factors and layers, and is something one never fully arrives at. Not in this lifetime. But I do think it will forever be elusive to one who is constantly dwelling on the past, on present uncomfortable situations, or on fears of the future.

All of these things have steered me for way too long.

I’m ready to stay on the other side of the bus. This going back and forth from one side to the other is exhausting and it’s stealing my joy.