So quick disclaimer: I am not a professional psychologist or therapist. I have zero training in any of this, so take it for what it’s worth on that front. I simply try to understand myself and my relation to those around me the best way I can, and it causes me to think about things. When I need confirmation or guidance in what I’m thinking, I read experts.
As I’ve stated in a previous post, I am a verbal processor, and writing things out is a great way for me to work it out – and to remember it vividly for decades to come.
Because I am a verbal processor (spoken or written), I have noticed that it can quite easily slide from processing to overthinking and then rumination. This is dangerous to rational thinking for many reasons, and I am just learning to notice the difference and things to do to remediate.
Rumination is the hamster wheel in your head. It’s going over and over and over something that what we really need to do is deal with and move on. Dwelling on negative thinking or feelings (past the point of processing) actually makes them worse. It’s when I start out processing and thinking deeply about an issue, but then that tape gets stuck on repeat in my mind, keeping me stuck focusing on the problem at hand instead of on problem-solving.
This is not the same as taking your time to think about a situation over a period of time, of course. Some things require such commitment. But at some point, we must come to some kind of conclusion or remedy that we can at least contribute toward.
Rumination exists on a spectrum: it goes from Reflective Rumination (or self-reflection), which is more analytical in nature with a solution-focused end. This is the gray area from processing into rumination – can still be helpful, but we can cross that line here very easily and not realize it.
The far end of the spectrum is called Brooding Rumination, and it is exactly as it sounds. It is self-perpetuating and always negative; it feeds itself with no end in sight. Fortunately, I have mostly avoided this kind of rumination, but I have seen firsthand how easily one can slump into this destructive habit.
It’s one thing to think of an issue with the intent of finding an answer or at the very least breaking things down into solvable problems. It’s a whole different can of worms when we just focus on what we cannot control…and continue thinking it repeatedly…never reaching a helpful solution.
Reasons why we should heed the warning about this habit:
- Rumination reinforces negative thoughts; it doesn’t leave room for an opposing (more positive) side in thinking. This creates an unintended bias in our perceptions. We continually see things the way we already do – negatively.
- It can lead to or exacerbate depression, anxiety, or feelings of helplessness because we’re never looking past the problem and toward a solution.
- Along this same vein, but it cannot be overstated: the more often we partake in this habit, the more mental ruts are created in our thinking that are difficult to get out of. This is a serious consequence that I will likely address in my next post.
- It also can (and often does) hijack the way we perceive things the rest of the day. I’m sure I don’t need to remind anyone that the rest of the day can easily turn into the rest of the week, months, years, etc.
Things you can do if you find you are trapped in your own head:
- Allow yourself time to process, but limit your time. 15-30 minutes at a time is plenty of time to think through a situation and determine how you feel about it, at least for one day. Be intentional. When thinking about the problem you’re facing, sort the aspects of it by things you can control and things you can’t, and – wait for it – find something you can do to bring some sort of resolve to the things you can control. This is productive and helpful, but it needs to stop there; don’t go back to square one.
- Change your focus: start by finding another input. Read, listen to, or watch something that pulls yourself out of your own mind and into a more positive mindset. If you’re a praying person, this is a great time to pray. Talking to God (and more importantly listening for His response) is the most powerful thing a person of faith can do to change her focus. You’ve heard of laying it at the foot of the cross? This is what that means.
- Hold yourself accountable. Keep a gut-check on yourself – and do it often. Pay attention to your thought patterns, and when they begin to go awry, check yourself, realize where you’re headed, and then change your strategy. See #2.
- Be sure you’re not making excuses for these thinking patterns. “But they did this…” or “If I only had that…” are excuses – which are attempts to disown the responsibility of your thought life. I’ve got news for us both: our thought life is completely in our own hands. Period. Own it, then fix it. This is what is meant by self-discipline.
- I would like to suggest that Hebrews 12:11, which is discussing God’s discipline of his children, can also be applied to self-discipline (which if done well, can avoid the discipline of God!) “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace.” Being disciplined is loving and just, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Ask any athlete: self-discipline works exactly the same.
- All training takes intentionality, effort, and consistency. Whether you’re training for a marathon or a piano recital, these 3 things must be present. If that’s true, we can’t expect the training of our mind to be any different. Be mindful, do the hard thing, do it every time.
Additionally, like every form of training: it’s always easier said than done. But awareness of the need is where it always starts for me, and this applies mentally just as much as it does spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
My next post will be looking at those mental ruts and what we can do to break out of them! This has been an enlightening lesson for me personally over these last several months; I hope it can help someone else understand themselves better and grow too.
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